Desperate, Sweaty, SWM Looking for ‘Love’

DatingGameThe dating/recruiting comparisons are endless and we’ve been drawing parallels for years. The conversation will continue for some time; we’re waiting, after all, for the much-anticipated eHarmony launch of its recruiting/assessment/matching platform later this year.

One thing I’ve never seen dissected though is how one’s approach, to either the dating process or the hiring process, impacts the final outcome. Maybe it’s because at some point enough people find their match, job-wise or romance-wise, so we kind of lose interest. (“Thank God Mary finally found a man. I’m so tired listening to her ramblings about the losers she’s meeting.”) Or, of course, they just stop trying. (“Bob has stopped shaving and just sits around his house in his underwear. All he eats is Papa John’s pizza.”) Either way we’re thankful for the silence when they stop blathering on about how they can’t find “the one.”

But all this starts with some sort of goal-setting, know what I mean?

Let’s take dating. People join dating sites for any number of reasons. Some are laser-focused on finding a spouse or forming a significant relationship while others want companionship so they don’t have to attend events or work parties as the lone single gal/guy. There are folks who just want a partner with whom to sip wine and go for walks on the beach. Quite a number, let’s face it, pony up their hard-earned cash with the goal of satisfying hormonal urges.

As for job seekers, the individuals who take the time to create a lengthy profile on a job board or the soon-to-be-launched eHarmony recruiting site presumably do so for the same reason: to land a job. A job they love! 

People in both camps may be desperate; the out-of-work guy in job search mode needs to start bringing in some income. The why-am-I-still-single? 36-year-old gal who enjoys spinning pottery and singing in the church choir is bone wearingly exhausted being the +1 at couples’ events. Plus she has urges…if you know what I mean.

Candidates and single-people with hopelessness oozing out of every pore. Who hasn’t run into them?

I’ve sat across from job applicants who have begged for a job. “I’ll do anything,” said Rhonda-the-applicant. “I really need to work.”

I’ve also, back in my single days, sat across from sweaty dudes who plied me with cocktails and begged for companionship. “I’m ready to settle down,” lamented one crunchy-granola weirdo hipster dude as he chugged his sake at the Thai restaurant during our first (and last) date. “You want to come and see my house? I brew my own mead and raise earthworms in the basement.” (note: after I feigned an emergency and raced for the safety of my car, I watched him unlock his bicycle and wrap his pants leg with duct tape before he peddled back home to his earthworms).

Where’s the line that one crosses? At what stage does someone move from having a desired (and achingly unrealized) objective into wretched despondency?

Is there a point at which the lovelorn hit a critical juncture and can’t reverse their path? Had earthworm guy, once upon a time, been a tad more circumspect in his quest to snag a woman? Did he change after stumbling through young adulthood on some sort of creepy refection-filled journey?

I dunno.

But I do wonder if the mysterious magical eHarmony recruiting tool will assess “desperation.”

I also wonder if that would that be good … or bad?

 

 

One comment

  1. Kevin Epley, SPHR, SHRM-SCP says:

    Thanks Robin. I, too, became very curious about this eHarmony approach to recruiting/job search when I first heard of it. I’m thinking a presentation at SHRM2015?

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